Buffy Summers?
Depends.
If you're anyone other than Daniel Craig,
then, no, I've never heard of her.
Well.
That works out for everyone, then.
Holy cats! You're you!
You don't like Daniel Craig?
No, he's got a thing, I just... The beach? Rubbing oil?
Well, I'm having trouble concentrating!
It's not like I don't have other places I'd like to be.
I'm just feeling really present.
Come on! We're flying!
You're flying. I'm dangling.
But you're badass, Buffy!
You slay! You jump out of helicopters!
They're lower down. Why can't we teleport again? Or hitch?
Because I'm not positive where it is.
I'm gonna bring us down a bit.
That's better... Not better! Less better!
You can open them now.
Oh, my... Wow! How did you do this?
If you can't bring the mountain to Muhammad...
But how...
We've got a couple of real comers in the Wiccan Squad.
We could at least make your stuff big! But wait though!
I can't believe it! My stuff!
Whoa, now!
Please let my boots be in here.
Man down!
Xander?
I don't love you anymore.
It's too dangerous!
We can ski down these crazy Alps in the morning,
but till then, television's Tina Fey,
we must find a way to keep warm.
Okay, that's solid. You get to ski.
And there's hot cocoa, which we discover later.
And Kennedy?
She's not... It's a fantasy game, Buff. No significant others.
So, still significant.
Yeah, she really is.
I just haven't seen her. But then I...
Are we there yet?
We are there yet.
This is the lair of Sephrillian?
It's not a guest lair, or something? I thought he was a big noise.
Sephrillian walks between worlds.
And the lady on the lawn?
Never met her, but I figure that's the Minder.
"Minder"? Did Giles tell us lots of stuff while I dozed?
Any unstable reality field
is potentially dangerous, cataclysmic.
So, someone has to watch over it.
Willow.
Hey, Robin.
I thought you hadn't met.
We do, later on.
And I'm just gonna roll with that.
He's in there. I can feel him thrashing.
Believe me, so can I.
He's not in a very good mood.
You know the rules, right?
No big mojo in the field.
If things get dicey, I get slayey.
But that's not what we came for.
We're just here to talk.
There's a chance you'll wish you hadn't.
Good luck.
So, minding an unstable reality means containing it, right?
Am I close?
See? Giles said you were awake sometimes.
That's gotta be a little wearing, standing brain-guard 24/7.
You don't volunteer to be a Minder, Buffy.
You get chosen.
You know what I love?
An endless staircase?
Aren't there any escalators to hell?
Let's play a game.
Oh, blessed sockies, you still have dryer smell!
So. Did I do or did I do?
You're freaking Santa, Xander.
You're sure I didn't hurt you?
Snug as a bug.
It's nice and silky in here. Silky and lacy and...
Frilly?
Frilly! Lord of Hosts, I'm in the frilly!
Relax, Tiny, it's a camisole.
Seriously, Xander?
Well. Look at that.
Hello, Kenny.
Little Women Christian Bale,
you and I waltz obscenely close in plain view,
while Reign of Fire Christian Bale saddles the horses.
See? Now you're pulling from the top shelf.
That's beautiful.
I don't know where to start.
I like Kennedy, you know?
Still not sure where to start.
I just mean, you don't ever bring her around,
and I wanted you know you could. You don't have to be...
- Embarrassed? - No, no, no, no.
I didn't...
I mean, you've never really explained where you went.
And you come by and you're always alone
and kind of cagey about stuff.
Thank God!
You dare?
Sorry, Buff. Flying doesn't fly in here.
You reek of lies!
We haven't even said anything yet!
I have heard it already, Slayer.
We need your help.
You walk in the human reality and the other ones, older ones.
That makes you Tichajt, one of the Demon Elite.
I know what I am, human.
The imbalance between our worlds
is going to rain destruction on all our heads.
Twilight.
Your fear is obnoxiously sweet.
Do you know what it is? What it truly means?
The end, of course,
of the struggle, of the Hellmouths.
Final triumph of the base humans over the demons.
It's your life's goal achieved, Slayer.
The death of Magic.
It's all my fault.
It is not your fault.
Look, the only thing less trustworthy than a thricewise is a guy.
You had natural person urges and this dode took advantage.
It's not that simple. I lied to Willow.
I didn't sleep with Kenny.
I slept with his roommate.
Lies! Lies! Delusions, gross simplifications!
These are what make mankind.
No fault in it.
Your brains could not contain the horrible beauty of total awareness.
Take a look.
Will, I don't think we wanna be here anymore!
I don't think we are.
Are these Slayers?
In a Swiss bank?
That's crazy nonsense.
I'm sure I would have found out.
Get a move on, ladies!
We've got two minutes before those...
So sparkly. Before those guards wake up!
So the mysterious benefactor bankrolling the Slayer army.
It's all insured!
And we totally found a Watteau
the Nazis hid and sent it to the Tate!
It's only money.
And money changes everything.
This is where it all starts, Buffy. What your enemies saw.
Slayers acting above the law
and endangering their most precious possessions.
Their possessions.
This is the first domino.
Ooh! Look! Here's a you bad thing!
Are all my secrets laid bare now?
Have you found what you need? Or shall I show you more?
Wow. Your bad is way better than mine.
Hmm. This Nick fellow, he was, perhaps,
something of a bad boy?
Yeah.
Nick.
I'd been dating Kenny for about two months.
Kenny was sweet and romantic, and he didn't push.
Then there was this house party,
I saw his roommate, Nick, and...
Cigarettes, dirty hair,
never gave you the time of day,
but seemed to be in pain deep down?
Yuh-huh.
And for the big money,
did he in any way play in a band?
Bass. Vocals. I'm a Satan.
There was talk, and then Iess talk, and I'm a skank.
Kenny was heartbroken.
Dawnie, stop.
You are hereby found guilty of being a cliche.
And that's it!
You ever see the first guy Buffy slept with in college?
Riley?
Oh, she wishes.
Look, this is all good news.
Now we have a real lead on whatever mojo Kenny might've used,
and more importantly, it was me you opened up to.
I'm special.
You're wheedly.
I'm specially wheedly.
But doesn't it feel better to get it off your chest?
Dawn?
So, how's it going?
Oh. I didn't think he'd show you this.
More like "where." Will?
I was never naughty here. I don't even...
Robin, has this happened yet?
Robin.
What happens to me here?
Betrayal. The closest, the most unexpected.
Who?
I have to be outside now.
You're about to cause a disruption.
We need to get out of here. Sephrillian's playing...
Is it you?
No.
I won't betray you.
Any more than I have.
I have kept you from Buffy.
I think I've even stayed away myself.
Until I saw Warren I didn't realize it, but...
When Buffy died, I couldn't admit it,
but Tara and I were happy.
Not in general. I mean, we mourned, but together.
And Buffy was happy, too.
How can I not think it?
That I'm ashamed of you?
You keep me away from Buffy. Out of her circle.
And you're not that subtle about it.
Honey, I don't want...
You know I'd die for you.
Oh, wait, I did!
Admittedly, it was mystical, and kind of mellow.
But headline, death!
And I didn't say a word about your six-month mystical walkabout.
It's not you.
It's from before.
Tara. Of course.
You know, when I said I was open to a threesome,
I had something more fun in mind.
But I had to bring you back.
Long before Sunnydale went south.
Goddess, from the day that you died
I never considered any other option.
I chose to put Tara in a bullet's path.
I chose you over her.
I can't do that again to the woman I love.
All my faces are there to see.
But you humans, you have too many.
I would be rid of your kind.
I welcome this war.
Hail Mary.
You invoke the wrong... What?
Touchdown.
Buffy, the magic.
This place is gonna...
Do you remember being in there? What we saw?
I'm sorry. If I projected a remnant in there,
it went when the field closed down.
But I imagine it wasn't something fun.
It was demons.
Playing games.
ENGLISH - US - PSDH